Why is it always the (seemingly) good people...

...that alienate you?

Today is a day that will live in infamy until the day I die. July 26th, 2005. Today I have been alienated by a girl who I thought cared about me enough that she wouldn't abandon me and leave me in the rain out of the blue. She told me today that she couldn't speak to me anymore because I was "too young" and her parents "forbade" it. All she had to do was say she never wanted to speak to me again- but I guess that was too easy for her... When a man lies, he murders a part of the world- but what happens when a woman lies? In this case, nothing. I severely doubt she ever cared about me in the first place, I was a fool to believe that there was a person as good as her out there and now I'm taking the opportunity to lash out and say that if you can't like me for me then you can go fuck yourself off of a cliff. I hope none of you are offended by this post, I am honestly sorry if I have offended anyone in it, but I am so brutally angry right now that I could take the nearest thing and rip its throat out just for the pure joy of knowing someone else will know the pain I feel right now.

In my hour of need
Ha [no] you’re not there
And though I reached out for you
Wouldn’t lend a hand.

Through the darkest hour
Grace did not shine on me
It feels so cold, very cold
No one cares for me.

Did you ever think I get lonely
Did you ever think that I needed love
Did you ever think to stop thinking
You’re the only one that I’m thinking of.

You’ll never know how hard I tried
To find my space and satisfy you too.

Things will be better when I’m dead and gone
Don’t try to understand, knowing you I’m probably wrong.

But oh how I lived my life for you
Still you’d turn away
Now as I die for you
My flesh still crawls as I breathe your name
All these years I thought I was wrong
Now I know it was you
Raise you head, raise your face your eyes
Tell me who you think you are, who?

I walk, I walk alone
Into the promised land.

There’s a better place for me
But it’s far, far away
Everlasting life for me
In a perfect world
But I gotta die first,
Please God send me on my way.

Time has a way of taking time
Loneliness is not only felt be fools
Alone I call to ease the pain
Yearning to be held by you, alone so alone, I’m lost
Consumed by the pain
The pain, the pain, the pain.

Won’t you hold me again
You just laughed, ha ha, bitch
My whole life is work built on the past
But the time has come when all things shall pass
This good thing passed away.

In my darkest hour.

-Megadeth - "In My Darkest Hour"-

I hope our paths may cross again- maybe when I'm "old enough"... goodbye.